topgrateGrateful. adjective
warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful:
I am grateful to you for your help.
expressing or actuated by gratitude:
a grateful letter.
pleasing to the mind or senses; agreeable or welcome; refreshing:
a grateful breeze

I feel we aren’t born with gratitude, it’s something you earn. I first typed “learn” but it’s more than that. We earn it by doing without. Because until you’ve been without you can’t properly feel it. Yes, we might be thankful for something, but I feel gratitude runs much deeper. It’s on another level…. in our core.

The older we become the more mindful we are of these things…especially this week.

I was walking into the office a few weeks ago and there stood a kerosene heater in the lobby. We owned a used kerosene heater about 29 years ago. It was our heat source for our mobile home. We couldn’t afford a big electric bill so we didn’t use the heat pump.fuelgauge

We bought a big drum of oil to use for the winter and Kevin would fill up a smaller gas can from the drum using a hand pump. We’d use this to fill the heater each night. We had a stainless steel bowl full of water that sat on top to add moisture to the dry air.

I hated the smell of the kerosene but it kept us warm and we could afford it.gascap

Us newly weds had full-time jobs and were in school part-time. One night I didn’t have class and came home to a freezing home and our gas tank was empty. I didn’t know how to use the hand pump.

I froze.

I was so cold. I finally couldn’t take it and I closed all the vents in the whole trailer except our bathroom and I turned on the heat. I took our comforter into the bathroom and laid on the floor with the comforter over the vent so the warm air would be trapped inside and waited in the bathroom till Kevin came home.

I dreaded the Utility bill. I just knew my extravagance was going to cost us.

I was 19 and Kevin was 22.

Everyone has a story of doing without and some thing that takes us back to it, to be reminded and then grateful for the pleasure of having.  Kevin’s is filling up at the gas pump, my mom’s is buying lemons at the grocery.

But being grateful isn’t always a tangible thing…. it can be about a relationship or heath or circumstances.

We just need to recognize it and acknowledge our gratefulness.

I came across this poem today and its perfect summary of what I’ve felt since seeing the kerosene heater.

In Gratitude
All my yesterday’s
have led to my today.
Today is nothing
without them.


Happy Thanksgiving to you and may you make the time to share a story of gratitude with those you love.


ps: we couldn’t tell any difference in our utility bill. :)


One thought on “Grateful

  1. what a sweet, sweet blog! so heartfelt and so true! bless your words to enter into our hearts and make us truly grateful for what we have, and have not. and for who we are because of our haves and havenots. lovely thoughts. love, mom

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