Long Enough

following drew to harding

Two weeks ago we took Drew to Harding University in Searcy Arkansas. Since then I’ve run the gamete of emotions some expected, others not at all. I think it’s a very good thing that my blog froze up while I was updating a plugin and stayed frozen until Kevin returned from a mission trip to Honduras 8 days later. It saved you guys from having to read the messy thoughts of a mom with mixed emotions. And all subscribers would hit “unsubscribe” the same day. Yes it was a good thing. 

But I’ve had plenty of time to think. Chad back in school, Kevin in a foreign country, Drew feeling like he is in one, I had a lot of alone time.

In college I took this marketing class that studied cognitive biases inparticularly frequency illusions. (Don’t stop reading, you know what it is just not what it’s called) Example: you are looking at buying a red honda pilot and now you see them everywhere, or you want to vacation at the Bahamas and you see ads, hear people talking about the Bahamas, it’s everywhere!! This is called frequency illusion.

Okay class, back to a lot of alone time. I’m chipping away at my to do list and working on jewelry for my Etsy shop, listing items,etc.. By now I had heard from Drew and he was is homesick. It’s okay to say that, he posted it on Facebook, twice. So it’s okay. However, I can never tell anyone if Chad is homesick. Drew doesn’t like change, he is a homebody type person. Back at chipping away in my craft room, I have my ipod playing, EVERY song on my ipod poured out words to my heart. Like:

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road

Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go

So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why
It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

Lump in the throat. What an image. Time grabs you by the wrist.

She got the call today
One out of the gray
And when the smoke cleared
It took her breath away
She said she didn’t believe
It could happen to me
I guess we’re all one phone call
From our knees
We’re gonna get there soon

If every building falls
And all the stars fade
We’ll still be singing this song
The one they can’t take away
I’m gonna get there soon
She’s gonna be there too
Cryin’ in her room
Prayin’ Lord come through
We’re gonna get there soon

One call from our knees, I take this as knees to pray. Mine call came Sunday night 10:30pm. Still working on getting there but getting better.

All this time is passing by 
All the way I’ve had to say goodbye 
Oh my life begins today 
After all, I’ve walked I’ve crawled I’ve loved along the way 

Walking down this road I’ve learnt to let go 
Of what I know cause everything can change again 
I’m on the edge of all that could be 
Well what I can’t control could control my dreams 

Remember when the days we had never seemed to end 
Remember when we couldn’t wait for life to begin 
All the answers I’ve found are away are few and far between 

These songs have been on my ipod forever I know what order they come on I’ve listened to them so often but this week the words hung out there for me to hear differently.

Isn’t that an odd phenomenon. It happens when things are in your mind and those things stand out even more. They are always there, you just notice them since it’s in your mind. So you can imagine when something is heavy on your heart how it must be. I am good with Drew being at college. He needs to be there. I’m not good with him being sad.

I love the support he has received without him even knowing it, yet. Prayers, friends asking me how he is, sweet women at church asking for his address to send him gift cards, support posted on his facebook. It’s encouraging.

Taking Drew couldn’t have gone any better. I didn’t picture him in his kindergarten outfit as I turned to leave but I did remember not to look back and see him go. It was just best not to. It’s hard, but I felt so many of God’s prayers being answered that I couldn’t be sad.

our bestest friends we ran into near Mississppi!!

 I must end on this story because it’s too typical of my life with boys. Shortly after this picture, Kevin started riding with Drew on the 6 hour haul to Arkansas. I’m following Drew, I’ve turned the radio off and I’m praying the prayer of a mother taking her first born to college. I’m thankful Drew and Kevin are having some quality time together. I’m thinking of what advice Kevin is sharing with Drew and hoping that he remembers this and that. I’m savoring the moment. Then I see Kevin getting up out of his seat and leaning back over Drew’s neck and shoulders. The car is shifting a little. I’m thinking WHAT is he DOING?? This goes on for a while before he sits back down. When we stop for lunch I ask Kevin what he was doing and he said, I was looking at this bump on Drew’s back deciding whether it was a mole or a zit. We think it’s a zit and are going to take care of it in the bathroom. Come on Drew.

Yes, my friends, there you have it.

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6 thoughts on “Long Enough

  1. What a beautiful post! By far your best yet!!! My only regret is that I wasn’t in that bathroom with them to pop that zit!

  2. Katey so good! It is so hard and I miss my girls and want time to turn back sometimes but I know God has a plan! I am on my knees a lot but I knothroat is a good thing. It isn’t good or bad just different! You have raised a great young man and I know God has a plan!

  3. Your mom told me today that Drew was homesick, and that Harding does not have even ONE cute girl…poor guy! But he will survive–it’s just part of the growing-up process. I will be praying that he soon feels at home there, and that you soon feel okay with him gone. Love you!

  4. I sent my firstborn off to college this fall too. It’s so strange not having him around the house. I really figured I’d have all this extra time and energy with him gone, but in reality I feel rather lost at times. I keep stopping to think if I should plan for him for dinner…or if I need to go nag him to go do his chores. In some ways it’s hard and it other ways it feels perfectly right, if you see what I mean. I’ve still got two girls here at home and life goes on, but I am awfully hungry for news about how he’s doing. I don’t want to be THAT MOM who calls him all the time, so I wait for him. I’ll be here when he gets bored one night and decides to call.

    • I know exactly how you feel!! His college gave the parents a “survival” guide for parents and one of the first ones was don’t call them let them call you. It’s hard some days. And the grocery shopping! I have thrown out WAY too much milk since he has been gone. Who knew HE was the one drinking it all!! I visited your blog and loved your picture of his room. My son’s looked just like it!! When your girls go off it will be totally different. Or so I hear from all my girlfriends with daughters. Thanks for reading and commenting. I enjoyed your visit. Katey

Thank you for your comments. Love to hear what you have to say!